It's not Insantity, it's a passion

The definition of insanity is completing the same task over and over again, expecting something different. If that's the case, I might become insane. But my gut tells me that I'm not. Here's why:

I'm applying for Physician Assisting graduate master's programs again this year. I did the same process last year and it was stressful, long, intimidating, and expensive. Why am I doing it again? The reasons are selfish and unselfish.

1. Because I want a career.
2. Because I want to be successful.
3. Because I'm not going to give up on my dream.
4. Because I've invested way too much to give up on it now.
5. Because I've learned way more now after applying the first time.
6. Because at the end of the day, I get a lot of satisfaction knowing I helped someone in need.

So basically, I think the odds are in my favor. I'm not doing everything the same way I did last time, so I don't think I'm insane. I'm working towards a goal in my life and others are being helped in the process. I'm now a Patient Care Assistant and UVRMC in Provo working night shifts and I'm taking classes for finishing prerequisites this summer. It's going to be a hard, busy summer. But anything easy was never truly appreciated or worth the struggle.

One of the greatest lessons I learned about myself in France is how much I need to be pushed in whatever I do. I thrive on a busy, successful lifestyle. So you can imagine how different it was for me to go from working all day and staying constantly busy to having two practices a day and nothing to accomplish in between or after work. I just about went insane! Because for sure at that point I was doing the same thing over and over and I was expecting it to make me happy. I tried doing new things, and maybe it was a little of my insecurity that kept me from venturing out more or being more active in the community I lived in. But if you have ever lived in a foreign country where you are still learning the language maybe you can sympathize with me. And then after I was injured I'm pretty sure I started to fall into a depression, but that's for more reasons than just having something to do. Either way, I knew when I came back to the States that I appreciated a busy lifestyle which I thrive on.

After working more closely with patients here at the hospital I can definitely say that this work is a passion. Because if I didn't feel strongly about it, I wouldn't have accepted a night shift position with 12 hour shifts. The nights that I am able to stay in the room with a patient who is struggling because he is frustrated with his injury and situation make it all worth it. The times that I can reassure someone who is lost or confused because of a traumatic brain injury make it all worth it. If I can relieve the pain and/or stress of just one person it's worth it. So it's not insanity, it's a passion.

Here's to applying again to PA school! Wish me luck and send some prayers in my direction! It's always much appreciated. And as always, thanks for the love and encouragement!