To Set The Record Straight

Most of you know the reasons why I returned home from France. But I haven't really set the record straight. When I left to go play, I had planned on being gone for about 8 months--a long time, for a season and international volleyball. I wasn't sure how things were going to go and I guess you can never plan on the unexpected. But after a while of playing, it became obvious to me, that I wasn't a 20-year-old sapling from Idaho anymore. My shoulder, something I've had troubles with a lot over the last year or so, especially in 2012, had begun to give me a lot of trouble. There were no opportunities for me to receive the treatment I needed. Things are not the same in Europe as they are in the USA, especially when it came to sports medicine. I struggled to find ice after practice! And this was on a pro team!!! In late October I had a worrying pain in my shoulder. Something that I had felt before, but was afraid to know what it was because it would mean I had re-injured my shoulder. When Chase came to visit me, I had an MRI, but it was inconclusive since it only showed the rotator cuff. By the end of November, I FINALLY was able to get another MRI with a dye injected into my shoulder capsule to see the labrum. And the results were clear--that I had torn my labrum again.

This news was a tough blow. I knew that I was done playing. Staying in France longer was no longer necessary. If I were to get surgery there would be no way I would do it in France. Socialized medicine is scary! If it took me a month and a half to just get an MRI to let me know what was wrong with my shoulder, then I sure as heck wasn't going to risk my health over there any longer!

Besides the fact that I was injured, I was homesick. America has so many qualities that are unexplainable unless you have traveled outside the USA for a while. Not only that, but I missed the people I love most. I missed my boyfriend, Chase, and my family, and my close friends. Being eight hours ahead of these people I loved was difficult; it meant calling and communicating at odd hours. It meant missing out on events that I learned I valued more than my experience overseas.

Now that I am back and settled, I know that coming home was the right choice. I knew it immediately, as soon as I landed. There are so many other things for me to do now. It was an amazing experience to live in France and be a professional. But I'm happier being home. I'm happier to be even just a coach if it means being a better girlfriend, daughter, sister, and friend.